I am so excited to be writing this from my very own laptop! I can't remember the last time I was able to get online because of something wrong with my computer so I've been using it exclusively for Photoshop and then using someone else's computer to blog and browse online. Yeah, I know. Talk about a total pain. It has now been factory reset and so far everything looks like its back to normal.
Lately, I feel like I'd like to be "factory reset". I wonder about other new moms and how they manage. What's "normal"? I'm just doing what feels right for me but what about when nothing feels quite right? We are currently co-sleeping, breastfeeding, and babywearing around here and most of the time I love it but there are some times when I just want to put it on pause. I want my boobs to feel how they did pre-baby and to sleep on my stomach without everything hurting. Sometimes I wish I had a solid 4 hours to myself to get things accomplished. We have a mounting pile of just about everything happening here and the to do list in my head is enough to give anyone anxiety. Not getting more than 2 hour stretches of sleep for 6 weeks is enough to make a person crazy too. Basically, I'm tired.
But, it should go without saying that I wouldn't trade any of it if it meant I didn't have my Benjamin. I've been waiting my whole life for him. He is such a joy. My heart is so full of love it's overflowing. When I pause to think about the magnitude of it my eyes well up. I am his and he is mine.
Benjamin is growing and starting to become more intentional with his interactions. It is so exciting to watch! In the last week he measured over 11.5 pounds. I boxed up most of his "newborn" size clothes and brought in size 3-6 months (I know! Crazy!). He's just about at the end of size 1 diapers so we're trying to finish up our stash. He's wearing size 2 overnight. During playtime he is starting to bat at the toys I put beside him. I got him wrist rattles that he seems to enjoy. If I lay him on a blanket to play and walk around the room, he watches and follows me wherever I go. He will strain to see me which, of course, I love. He enjoys tummy time and will even hold himself up entirely when propped on the Boppy. Sometimes with the things he does I can't believe he's only 5 weeks old. My kid is pretty awesome.
"Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him." Psalm 127:3